0 In All Kinds Of Wondering

Old As

If you aren’t already aware, the term “old as” is short for “old as fuck/shit/balls/the hills.” You get where I’m going with this. And even though I am 44/”old as” I don’t always feel that way and on a good day I look young-ish.

Every once in a while I still even get id’ed but it doesn’t have the effect I’m looking for anymore (namely making me feel young).

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0 In All Kinds Of Wondering

Fofu

Fofu = fear of fucking up.

I certainly suffer from it more than Fomo (fear of missing out).

In my last Wonder Hit that you can find here I ask the question what if you stopped wondering what you are doing wrong and instead asked what you are doing right. It’s something I can’t stop thinking about.

I have always been terrified of messing things up in my life. Of not doing the right thing. I mean I consciously know there really isn’t ever a “right” or a “wrong” but I still am afraid that I’ll screw things up.

And as I navigate my midlife crisis I’m becoming painfully aware that this fear of f-ing up stops me from fully living my life. I don’t make any big decisions, big or small, and just seem to be waiting for life to happen to me instead of me happening to it.

I guess me realizing this is my impetus to change the pattern. So how do I do it?

I suppose I will have to start with accepting that life is inherently messy no matter what. That my power lies in my decisions but it also lies in my reaction to things. Nothing holds power over you unless you let it. All of this is very fine and dandy to spout off about here but putting into practice might not be as easy. Or it can be. If I let it.

How do you deal with fofu? Or do you suffer more from fomo? Any words of wisdom you can share???

Now I guess it’s time to start making decisions and creating the life I’ve been waiting for. Oh boy…here we go!!!

Aliholly

0 In All Kinds Of Wondering

Raising My Freak Flag

In my ‘About/Start Here’ section that you can find here I talk a little about me and Wonder Craver. Well get ready for it because today I’m going to let a wee bit more hang out about me today. I’m going to let my freak flag fly.

And let me just say how nerve wracking this is. I’m terrified of revealing who I am and what I believe in because I’ve been teased a lot about it in the past. I’ve been questioned relentlessly. But I am in my forties now so I feel like it’s time to stop being ashamed to share myself and my beliefs. At least that’s what I’m telling myself. Perhaps this all will be a bit too much information but in the interest of being authentic and honest here goes…

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2 In All Kinds Of Wondering

The Wonder Effect

The purpose of this site, the essential reason that I’m here, is for me to introduce more wonder into my life. To prolong the wonder effect. To revel in it.

Truth be told, I’m a self-proclaimed wonder addict.

I do understand though that life isn’t always full of wonder. It can sometimes be straight up crap. But I want to focus more on the good feels. Not to ignore the shit. It serves a purpose too. But I choose to choose wonder more often than not.  I’ve gotten in a bit of a rut feeling sorry for myself as late. I seem to be enduring an epic mid-life crisis that never seems to end so I’m hoping a steady dose of wonder will be the exact antidote I need to kick my crisis to the curb. And even if it doesn’t I don’t think my quest to bask in wonder will be in vain.

The one obvious way I intend to keep the wonder train going is this website. To write about my wonderings and also to create “Wonder Hits”. Short and sweet posts of what make me wonder and what I wonder at. Little reminders of wonderful things and perhaps even new ideas I’ve come across that strike a chord. Check out the Wonder Hits page for yourself here.

But I do have other things I do in my life to keep the wonder effect alive.

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0 In All Kinds Of Wondering

Sign Language

In my post “I, Wonder Craver” I talk about how I asked the universe to give me a sign as to which name to choose for this website and how it actually answered me. At least I think it did. You can check it out here.

Asking for signs from the universe is incredibly subjective though, isn’t it? What you feel is a sign could be completely meaningless to someone else or you could read it completely wrong.

It’s an art. In requesting signs and in reading them. It’s a supposed feedback loop between you and something other than you. Something bigger. Call it what you want…God/the quantum field/the universe, it doesn’t matter. My go to name for it though is “universe”. And maybe it isn’t this field that even does the responding. Maybe it’s angels or ghosts or aliens or some other consciousness I have no idea about.

This sign language is a tricky business.

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